woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
