I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
