fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
