I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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