I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize