he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
