Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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