doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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