In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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