Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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