What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
