this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
