what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
