i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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