Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
