I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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