im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
