Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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