Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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