Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
