You're completely useless in the revolution.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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