Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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