You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
