Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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