She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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