I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
