I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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