Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she told me i tasted like america
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
