PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize