Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
