Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
