At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
