He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Alive.
So much puke
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
