Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
