As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Boobs speak an international language.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
