Plan B is the new Plan A
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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