have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
