I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize