I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
