we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
