This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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