put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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