I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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