I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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