Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
