Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize