Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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