So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
