i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
