I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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