I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
