i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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