More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
