Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
