Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
