Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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