i permit you to call me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
