I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
