If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize