He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
