big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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