Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
