Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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