So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
