Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
