it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
