my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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