yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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