well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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