Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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