It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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