shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
