I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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