Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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