TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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