I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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