it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize