she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He? As in you personified your dick?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
