I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
