i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
